I’ve been struggling a bit lately, mostly with trying to fit it all in. It’s no secret I live a busy life. I run a business and have a young family. That alone would be enough for most people… but nah, not this guy!! I have to see how much I can cram into a 24-hour day.
I’m not going to lie, it overwhelms me. Every day feels like a race… doing my best to be a good dad, a good husband, a good boss, and somehow a reasonably healthy human at the same time! This is just the weekday routine. Somewhere in the mix, I somehow have to maintain friendships, family connections and maybe even relax? (Still not sure how that last one works.)
I often wonder if it’s just me, or if it’s the world we live in. This million-miles-an-hour lifestyle we’ve all been told to chase. The fast-paced, next-day-delivery, instant-reply culture. Just because we can do everything right now doesn’t mean we should, does it?
I’m guilty of filling every waking hour with stuff… For a while, I thought I was nailing it, “I’m winning at life here!” I told myself. “All this info I’m absorbing will make me a genius. All this extra work will set me up for the future. All this exercise will make me invincible!”
It didn’t though did it!? It made me a knackered worn-out mess, completely burnt out. And maybe a little wrecked in the head (pardon the expression).
I thought I was doing good things, but really, I was just wearing myself down and destroying my ability to relax in the process. These days, I find it hard to sit still. At weekends, I can’t properly chill unless I’ve ticked off a few jobs or “achieved something.” If I don’t… I feel like a lazy sod. I hate this! I wish I could do lazy Sunday mornings. I wish I could just enjoy a coffee without a half-finished job somewhere in the house yelling for my attention.
I read something recently that really made me stop and think. It went a little something like this: “We aren’t over-worked. We are under-rested.”
That hit home. Because I think it’s true, we humans can handle a lot. We’re built to absorb stress and just keep pushing, keep moving forward! Look at arctic explorers, endurance athletes, or David Goggins, who famously said, “When your mind says you’re done, you’re only 40 percent done.”
Probably true… but I’d still love to see how much he rests.
I used to live like that, filling every waking hour with something. Work, training, projects, plans. Even holidays weren’t really holidays; they were missions. Every day packed with hikes, excursions, and “making the most of it all”. My view was, “I’m going to squeeze every drop out of this experience!”
And sure, I saw some amazing places and did some great things… But, it burnt me out. I wasn’t over-working, I was under-resting. I’d completely forgotten how to just stop.
So here I am, just a girl standing in front of a boy trying to learn how to relax. I mean properly relax! Like I used to… And I’ll be honest, I haven’t quite got the hang of it yet. My brain still itches for a task, a project, a reason to move. But I know I’m not the only one.
We (especially us blokes) aren’t great at admitting that we’re struggling, or that we don’t have it all figured out. I’ve been banging the drum for long enough now, telling blokes to “open up” and “talk more,” but I’ve not been so good at taking that advice myself. So this is me doing exactly that, opening up, I’m struggling and asking for advice, so tell me, how do you actually switch off?
If you’ve cracked it, if you know how to sit still without feeling guilty, if you can tell me how I can sit and play with my daughter without the feeling of “I need to get that done” Or just sit and watch TV without feeling like a slob I’d genuinely love to hear how you do it. Because at this point in time, I’m learning that slowing down might just be the hardest skill of all.
Slowing down doesn’t come easy, but maybe that’s exactly why it matters, even if we have to work hard at it. I’m on a mission to feel peace, to not always do, but just BE.
If you’re fighting the same fight, trying to find calm, you’re not on your own. We’ll get there, one relaxed moment at a time.
Take it easy!
TM
