With the winter Olymics now in full swing after an incredible opening cermony the worlds eyes are now transfixed on the snow-draped mountains of the Dolomites as adrenaline seeking nutcases AKA winter sports athletes fling themselves down white slopes at very near the speed of sound!
Watching the games lights a fire under me and it is impossible for me to not feel a familiar itch, one that the only way I can scratch is to live it! Unfortunately I won’t be scratching it this year, I’ll have to make do with watching people who are much better at it than me do it instead!
I’m talking about….. Snowboarding!
Sometime ago now I went to the Snowdome to do the “Learn to board in a day” course. Which in all intense and purposes does what it says on the tin…. A handful of young “rad” (if you can say that word still) Teenagers who were probably trying to earn a bit of money doing the only thing they were any good at to become Seasonaires for the following season!!
Anyway, I spent the day going against every natural instinct that you’ve learnt over the course of your life and eventually passed as a “recreational snowboarder” all because I could safely navigate the little snow pimple that is the Snowdome!
All this was in aid of a family Christmas trip to the Austrian Alps to spend New Year with our life long Austrian friends. Upon arrival I was itching to get out on the slopes, we hired some gear and got out there. I learnt fast that the Snowdome is not a true representation of the real thing! The snow is sticky and the slope is not steep at all! The real thing is, for want of a more poetic description…. Blummin MASSIVE!! I spent most of that week on my heel edge, trying to find the courage to switch to my toe edge. When I finally found the courage I’d stack it in panic! I did this until my friend encouraged me to relax, allow gravity to take me and make my movements slower, this did the trick and for the final day I enjoyed some nice rides, all be it slow and steady.
This was it, I got the bug, I needed to go back again and again and again! In 2012 I was absolutely stoked when my Dad organised a lads trip back to The Alps, accompanied by my dad, brother and father-in-law we hit the slopes hard, This was the case for many years to come, a group of us heading over mid to late Feb to enjoy all the area had to offer, the snow, scenery, gluwein, beer, saunas and laughs!
We always stayed in an old hotel in Igls that my dad used when he visited back in the 70s, Hotel Gruberhof. To be honest, I’m not convinced it had changed much since then. The bar still had posters from the seventies, and the furniture was very much of that era too.
The hotel was split into two parts: an old wing and a newer extension. The new side had standard bedrooms and bathrooms, perfectly fine, but nothing to write home about. The old part though… that’s where things got interesting. It was a creaky old Tyrolean Gasthaus, full of squeaky timber floors, big creaky doors and unsettling artwork staring down at you from the walls, I swear the eyes followed you around the room.
We usually ended up in Room 8, a huge dormitory-style space that could sleep five, complete with a big bathroom and an extra sink in the room. Some of the other rooms weren’t quite so lucky, forcing guests to plod off down the corridor to shared bathrooms…
And it was here that I saw something I will never forget…
I was sitting on a sofa on the landing, chatting to my girlfriend of the time, recounting the day’s antics and our plans for the evening, when I heard the clunk of a door lock. The door slowly crept open with a long creak… and out shuffled a skeleton thin wrinkly old man, still damp from his shower, with nothing but a tiny hand towel covering up the scary parts of his mid region.
I froze. Mouth open. Stunned into silence.
He didn’t see me, I think he must have been partially blind, and with a painfully slow shuffle, his head hung low in a hunch, he began making his way down the corridor. That was the moment the towel really started to struggle with its workload… before I could look away, he flashed his pale, wrinkly arse straight at me.
He carried on completely oblivious, while I sat there in total disbelief, trying to process what I’d just witnessed.
Naturally, I told my travel companions of my encounter. They absolutely lost it!
And the best bit? We saw the very same bloke out on the slopes the next day. Fair play to him, he must have been suffering the night before after going a bit too hard on the piste…. Or the piss….
To make matters worse, my dad has recently bought a statue of an elderly skier because it reminded him so much of that event. Every time I see it, I get traumatic flashbacks…
I’m damaged…..
Anyway, Back to the topic… Please don’t think I was any good at snowboarding! A few days a year doesn’t really get you very far, but it gives you enough skill to enjoy it, I tried doing certain park elements like Jibbing and small jumps, but I found it just wasn’t for me. I was into speed and carving, a nice clear wide slope or virgin piste which is just asking to be carved up! That and virgin snow, venturing off piste is tricky, you have to do things slightly different, but if you just lean back slightly you rise up and float, it’s the most amazing feeling!
[IMAGE SNOWBOARDING]One year, one of my friends lent me their alpine board, you may have seen these in the Olympics, they are a narrow stiff board which are brilliant for carving, you wear ski boots with these so the response to your movements is so quick, you can pick up some serious speed and pull some epic turns carving up the slope! I feel if I’d of had one of these on a permanent basis I may have suffered some sort of life altering injury!
Snowboarding is so much fun, however, when you fall, you fall hard! Every year I would return with some sort of strain, bruise or injury. One year I had a concussion…. The price we pay for the closest thing to flying we’ll ever do! I made a decision to switch codes and ski, this is for another blog though, for now I want to live in the memory of my snowboarding days! Get me back on the board… but without any falls or pain if that’s OK?
Take it easy and enjoy the games!
TM
