I left work yesterday and it was daylight! The days of going to work in the dark and leaving in the dark are as good as over, our vitamin D levels will soon be topped up to SAD’s eliminating levels and we will be feeling good and positive again! It has been, like it always is, a slog, the dark months always seem to last longer than the lighter ones for some reason, but now, that’s irrelevant, we don’t have to worry about it for a good 8 months! I’m not going to deny the fact it has been a wet one… probably the wettest on record, but I don’t care enough to look, all I know is, it’s been very soggy… It might remain soggy, but, now, for the brief moments that we are lucky enough to see the sun, there is warmth in it, and it will dry!
The snowdrops have risen again, sitting proudly along grass verges and lining the footpaths like quiet little sentinels who’ve weathered the winter underground waiting for their moment to shine. Out of nowhere they just simply appear, white and resolute, a gentle reminder that the cold and dark never quite gets the final say. It won’t be long before spring starts properly springing. The daffodils will follow, those bold yellow beauties, muscling their way up through stubborn soil and often grass to drink in every ounce of spring equinox sun, as if like us, they’ve been waiting patiently beneath the surface for their moment step out into the world
And then come the bluebells. A slow tide that washes in through the woodland until the forest floor is a haze of blue. Like the snowdrops they’re never loud about their arrival; they just appear, as if they’ve always been there. They mark the shift, the sense that summer is beginning to prepare itself.
I will feel the blue haze differently this year, I will feel the buzz and anticipation of the longer days to come but I will also feel stillness, a stillness that carries both warmth and ache in equal measure. It will be hard not to think of our little girl at this time of year and how brief her time was, and yet how permanent her place is. The bluebells won’t fix anything. They won’t explain anything either. But they’ll remind me that love doesn’t disappear just because it was fleeting.
I don’t want to get ahead of myself, we’ve still got the rest of February and March to go and as my father-in-law likes to remind me, it’s statistically more likely to snow at Easter than it is at Christmas… But what I say is, at least it will be light!
So hang on Pols! It won’t be long before it’s holiday season and you’re stood in the breakfast restaurant waiting for the Dualit Conveyor Toaster to turn your freshly sliced bread into the golden magic that makes the world go round, whilst all you have to worry about is what flavour Ruffles you’ll be eating as you recline by the pool with a good book!
Stay Strong!! Winter doesn’t hold the ground forever. The earth keeps turning, the light slowly strengthens, and life, tender, stubborn, faithful life…. Finds a way… Rises again.
Hang in there!
TM
