From Mouth Breather to Mouth Taper: The Simple Change That Improved My Sleep

I was, in the not-too-distant past, what Stranger Things taught us was one of the worst things you could possibly be… A MOUTH BREATHER. Especially when I was asleep.

I would wake up various times throughout the night with a throat as dry as The Sahara Desert, it would take copious amounts of water and patience for my mouth to feel somewhere near normal again.

My sleep stats were in the toilet, mainly down to the fact that I would snore loudly until I became apnoeic and, for a moment or two stop breathing all together, only for my subconscious to revive me with a snort and a splutter.

These episodes caused great stress and worry for my wife, I’d like to think it was to do with my health, but more likely it was down to her lack of beauty sleep. However, it was nothing a good kick or a punch wouldn’t solve.

As time went by I got fed up the bruises and my wife fed up of the stressful sleepless nights, so I decided to get myself checked out.

An appointment was made at University Hospital Coventry where I spoke with the doctor who supplied me with some gadgets and gizmos that I was going to have to stick on or clip onto myself that night.

I plugged everything in and went to bed, I was well probed for the night ahead.

What proceeded was potentially the worst nights sleep I had ever had! Mainly because my guardian angel (my wife) was under strict instructions to leave me be and let my body “do it’s thing”.

This resulted in me waking countless times with my tongue feeling like Gandhi’s flip-flop, a throat that felt like someone had taken a cheese grater to it and a pounding headache.

My wife didn’t look too happy either…..

I deposited my equipment back at the hospital with the monitor which would have all my sleep stats on it and waited for the call….

Which never came…..

I was shocked and stunned, I thought they’d be begging me to come in to be plugged into a life support system after the poor slumber of that night.

In the end I called them…

“I’m sorry sir, we are short staffed due to COVID, we’ll be in touch soon…”

They weren’t…. So I chased again.

It turned out I was a cause for concern and will get a follow up consultation… “We’ll be in touch soon….”

They weren’t…. So I chased again.

This time I was “borderline” and would need to do the test again…. Which is code for “we’ve lost your results.”

During this time I had taken matters into my own hands… I had been listening to a podcast where the presenters were taping their mouth up when going to bed, this promoted nose breathing which is much healthier and the preferred way for us to breathe.

So, I bought some ‘sleep mouth tape’ and gave it a whirl. It was rubbish! The tape was horrendous, the glue, which left gummy residue on my lips each morning was horrible, however, I had noticed a difference. I wasn’t waking up so often with a mouth as dry as Tutankhamun’s tomb…

One weekend we went away for the weekend and I forgot my tape!

DISASTER!!

I rummaged around looking for a suitable replacement, sellotape wouldn’t do and neither would masking tape, I’d already experienced a masking tape injury on a naked photo shoot when I was younger… (A story for another time!)

Eventually I found some micropore tape in the first aid box, I applied a square and enjoyed a more restful sleep than I’ve had in many many moons!

That was it, this was the tape for me, cheap as chips, low tack and actually designed to stick to skin. I haven’t looked back.

A few years down the line I still use it, I rarely snore, rarely wake up unless I’m worried about work (which is all the time lately) thankfully my mouth isn’t dryer than the Aral Sea and I can roll over without having to gulp down pints of agua!

Another thing I’ve noticed is, when I used to get a cold, I’d ALWAYS get a sore throat!! It would be the first thing to hit me, then the rest of the illness would take hold. Not anymore, I think I’ve only had one sore throat in 2 or 3 years!!

People often say to me, I couldn’t do that, I’d die because my nose blocks up….

Believe it or not your brain and body doesn’t want to die…. It has this thing called survival instinct. So, if you can’t breathe through your mouth it opens up your nasal airways and allows you to breathe perfectly normal. I would even go as far as to say it improves nose breathing during the day too!

I could go on and on about the benefits I have experienced, but I don’t like to preach. One final thing I will say though, my wife sleeps better and doesn’t have to worry about me anymore, she is happy… And we all know…

Happy Wife, Happy Life.

Sweet Dreams

TM

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