The Gunpowder Plot and The Original Fall Guy

Happy 5th November everyone! Now the over Americanised Halloween is out of the way I hope you’re all celebrating the age old English tradition where we remember the failed plot to assassinate the king and impose a Catholic puppet Monarchy? Or simply just letting off a few fireworks….

I’ll definitely be lighting a fire and letting off a few rockets tonight or over the weekend. I have fond memories of Bonfire night, I’ve written about it a couple of times, if you’ve missed it you can catch it here and here.

I’d like to be boring this week and talk about the history of this day, because I feel we are losing this tradition, either the Health and Safety Executive and Insurance companies are trying to manage it out, or we simply don’t want to go and stand out in the cold when we could be wrapped up inside watching the tele… Understandable I guess.

So, lets have a little look at the fella responsible for all this, Guido Fawkes… Well, technically speaking it wasn’t all him, he wasn’t the mastermind. That honour goes to a dude called Robert Catesby, who, way back in 1605 decided the best way to settle his religious and political differences was to turn the Houses of Parliament into dust and splinters by using a considerable amount of gun powder!

I’m sure you will agree a somewhat extreme approach to disagreeing with the government, although. I’m sure there are a few people reading who may be slightly tempted….

Catesby was the mastermind behind a group of English Catholic conspirators who were sick to the back teeth of Catholics being persecuted under the Protestant King James I.

Their solution?

Stash 36 barrels of very volatile black powder beneath Parliament wait for the state opening of Parliament and when HRH was in the hot spot (literally) blow him and the rest of the government into next week! Yep, curtains for the lot of them!

Then, once everyone was brown bread, overthrow the remaining Protestants and replace it with a monarchy sympathetic to Catholicism, probably his Daughter Elizabeth, who they would raise a Catholic.

Enter Guy Fawkes.

Guy was the explosives man, having gained experience fighting overseas, he was tasked with guarding the gunpowder and carrying out the explosion.

Unfortunately for him, it didn’t go quite to plan…

After and anonymous tip-off, the authorities searched beneath Parliament and discovered Guido hanging around with enough gunpowder to cause severe structural damage to anything within a 500 metre radius, with everything within a 100 metre radius being practically disintegrated…

For a rough non-scientific comparison the blast would have been twice as big as the Bishopsgate Bombing in 1993, but with more effect due to the location of the powder!

Guy was arrested, tortured and inevitably sentenced to death… A particularly brutal death!

He was to be hanged, drawn and quartered, not exactly the spa treatment we all opt for at Champneys, in fact a pretty grim way to meet your maker!

However, Guy apparently had other ideas, taking a nosedive off of the scaffold, breaking his neck and sparing him the horrors of the intended execution!

Not that it stopped them, they still went ahead and quartered him for good measure, despite him already being as dead as a dodo!

The guy (see what I did there?) wasn’t even the mastermind, That was Catesby. Yet 400 years later whose name do we remember, remember on the fifth of November? Whose effigy do we traditionally burn? Who do we collect a penny for?

Talk about being the Fall Guy! (Did it again didn’t I!?)

I wonder what Robert Catesby would make of it all… All that planning and organising, only for one of his mates to get all the publicity!

Anyway, all jokes aside there’s something worth remembering about this whole sorry affair.

It does make you wonder how people can get themselves into such a state over their differences that they decide blowing everyone to kingdom come is the best course of action…

I’d like to think we’ve moved on in four hundred years, although judging by some of the arguments I see on social media, I’m not totally convinced.

We seem to have become very good at falling out with one another. Politics, religion even opinions! You name it, someone will have an argument their willing to die on a hill about!

Although, half the people arguing probably aren’t even real! They’re Russian bots programmed to make us hate each other! Imagine getting into a huge debate on Facebook about immigration with someone called Steve from Dudley, only to find out he’s actually an AI from Moscow!

I’m all good for debate, and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, come to think about it, I don’t want everyone to agree with me, difference in opinion makes the world go round!

So, surely we can all learn to tolerate each other a little better? You can think someone’s opinion is absolute nonsense and still get along with them!

So perhaps there’s a little something to take away from Guy and his pals!

Not everyone is going to agree with you, doesn’t mean you should go and blow them to bits!

Even politicians, no matter how tempting it is!

Anyway, that’s enough history and philosophy for one week! I’m off to light a fire and disturb the dogs in the neighbourhood! Oh and probably a pint of malty amber ale too!!!

Happy Bonfire Night!

Take it Easy!

TM

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